The Reason
by Lady Whisper
Summary: James is in love with Sirius but marries Lily instead and Sirius finds out his heart actually belongs to another
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** One shot. The two letters are in __**bold/italic.**__ Set in the Marauders time, and is more of an AU, then anything else. Remus and Severus break up in the year that follows their last school year, for Remmy is still in love with Siri, and he can't do it anymore. So they part on good terms. I am using Charlus Potter as James' dad. _

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, though it would be nice, but that isn't my privilege of own age. I just own the plot bunny_

**_Rated: _**_T_

**_The Reason_**

"Didn't you ever think for one second that, that night meant more to him, than it did to you?" Lily screamed at him, jabbing a finger into his chest. "Did it ever occur to you that he would get hurt, or are you just so stupid and self-centered that the only one who matters is you?"

Sirius Black stood there, in stunned silence. Lily has never talked like this to anyone before, she has always been very sweet, and uncommonly kind to everyone she meets. But there she was standing in front of him fuming.

"Honestly Black, if you don't smarten up soon, you will lose one of your best friends and there will be nothing you can do about it," with that she turned and stormed out of the common room. Slamming the portrait.

Leaving a very confused Sirius standing there. He couldn't fathom what she was on about. 'What did he do?' he thought as he pondered, what she meant by 'it meant more to him'? Shaking his head he walked out the door, in a daze. He was heading down to dinner, but he didn't end up there (Sirius Black missing a meal, oh the horror, he never misses a meal).

It wont dawn on him what he did till later. For he has a tendency to act without thinking things through. 'Naughty, Naughty, Sirius.'

(~*~*~)

_Three nights earlier..._

James had cried again. He has done that a lot lately. Ever since he found out that the one he has loved for so long isn't gay. 'Why oh why did he have to fall in love with the one person who would never return his feelings?'

While he was lost in thought, the one he's thinking about comes down the stairs, whistling a tune, waaay off-key.

Siri stops whistling when he notices James sitting on the couch, with his face in his hands. "Hey, buddy what's wrong?" Sirius says softly as he sits down beside him.

Startled out of his thoughts, James looks up into those grey eyes that remind him so much of storm clouds. He use to love storms, but he's not sure if he does anymore, it just hurts too much thinking about them. Yanking himself out of those thoughts, as more tears slide down his cheeks. He stiffens when Sirius touches his cheek to wipe the tears away.

Pulling his head away from the touch (even though all he wanted to do was lean into it) "You don't love me." James said as he looks away. Not wanting to look into those beautiful eyes any longer, it hurts just sitting here next to him.

"What?" Sirius stared at his best friend for a whole minute before continuing, "of course I love you, I will al..."

Frustrated James stands up, turning to face him with tears running down his cheeks. Cutting him off, "You don't get it do you Black,"

Siri opens his mouth to ask "get what?" but he doesn't allow him to get anything out, as he plows on.

"I don't 'love you' as in friend, I'm in love with you. But you don't love me that way, cause you don't swing that way. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to go to bed with what is left of my heart, before you break anymore." He headed towards the stairs, but didn't get very far.

Sirius, after the shock of his best friend yelling at him (which is rare, cause James hardly ever gets mad), gets up and tackles him from behind. Burying his face into his neck, he inhales the musky scent that is all James.

What the..." he was silenced with a kiss...

As he got lost in the feel of Sirius' kiss, James thought 'huh, maybe I was wrong.' Smiling he kissed back with vigor.

(~*~*~)

Now back to Sirius walking down to dinner...alone...very unusual...for normally where there's Black, Potter is there too (causing mayhem), with Lupin next to them (shaking his head trying hard not to smile at their antics), with Peter (their shadow) following behind.

Deep in thought, he wasn't watching where he was going and runs smack into Remus.

"Whoa there Sirius," Remus chuckles, but immediately stops when he notices that James isn't there, (frowning he looks around for James, but doesn't see him). He could hear Sirius muttering to himself. "Ok what is going on? What did I miss?"

The response to Remus' questions was "I've lost James, I hurt him so badly, I don't think he will ever forgive me," before he fell into his arms and cried "what have I done, I am so stupid. Lily is right."

(~*~*~)

_'What?'_ was the thought that entered his mind, as he caught his friend. 'W_hat in merlins beard is going on here.' _He needs to talk to James or Lily, (probably not James, cause he's not in any shape to talk to anyone). It will have to be Lily, that he needs to find to get the story. So he can figure out what went on, while he was studying with Severus (his boyfriend of a year), in the library. Blushing a bit, he tightens his hold on Sirius as he rubs his back soothingly.

(~*~*~)

"Lily can I talk to you please, in here," Remus asks that afternoon when he sees her coming out of the charms classroom.

"Sure Remus, what's up?" Lily answers while following him into the empty classroom.

"Do you know what happened between my two best friends? Cause earlier Sirius said that he had lost James, and that he hurt him. Do you know what he meant by that?" Remus asked as soon as she had closed the door. He looked at her with confusion on his face.

For a moment Lily didn't answer, cause she was trying to keep her anger at Black, at bay. No use in taking it out on Remus, it wasn't him she was mad at (actually mad at is putting it mildly). She looked into those soft golden eyes and told him the whole story, of how James had confessed to Black that he's in love with him. How in response Black kissed him senseless. Then a make-out issued. Then the whole 'one thing led to another' came in to play. They ended up having sex. But by morning Black was back to his old self and acting like he hadn't just slept with his best friend.

Wide golden eyes met with angry green eyes, and all that came to mind was 'Oh My God'. After standing there for 5 minutes (who was counting). Remus growled low in his throat, and declared "I'm going to kill him."

(~*~*~)

Over the next few weeks the other students started to notice the oddness of the normal behavior between the two closest people in school. James Potter and Sirius Black no longer hung out together. James was usually seen with Lily and Severus. But Sirius resident Lady's Man was by himself a lot of the time watching James with sad puppy dog eyes. Sirius was racking his brain, trying to figure out how to go back in time to fix this.

(~*~*~)

In a corner of the library sat Remus Lupin "studying" pfft right more like he was glaring at one Sirius Black. If looks could kill then Sirius would be dead already, a hundred times over. It doesn't help that Moony (wolf animagi) is trying to come out more and more each passing day. Shaking his head, he stands up and heads straight for the dog animagus. Yanking him out of the library.

"What the..." he says, as he tries to get Moony to let go of his ear.

Remus drags the Mutt down the corridor and around a corner, shoving him up against the wall, growling. His eyes flashing dangerously.

"Ow, Moony what the hell?" Sirius rubs the back of his head, while trying to push the errant wolf off him. Remus doesn't budge, just a warning growl. He then speaks very low and quiet to Padfoot. Growls punctuate his words, as he pushed Padfoot more into the wall. "How inconsiderate of you Black, to hurt your best friend like that. How very insensitive! Don't you care?" He paused and looking into grey eyes he continued "That was the lowest of the low Black."

Wide frighten grey eyes look into angry golden ones and a whimper escapes his mouth. Stopping for a moment, Moony tilts his head listening to the whimper's that are leaving Black's lips. He then focus' on the lips and leans in...

Growling Remus shakes his head, trying to get Moony back under control. When he manages to, he leans forward again. Pressing his friend more into the wall behind him, breathing in his scent. Then asks "Why?"

Another whimper escapes as Sirius grasps for an answer, all the while trying to ignore the bulge he can feel jabbing into his hip and the predatory look in Remus' golden eyes. 'Great,' thought Siri 'Remus is losing control of his wolf animagi, not good. I need to be careful.'

"Moony," Siri managed to choke out (followed by more whimper's, Sirius doesn't know it but his whimper's are like moans to Moony's ears, and he is turning the wolf animagi on more and more). Spreading his hands out on his friends chest, he felt the heartbeat speed up a bit. Before Siri could say anything more, Remmy stepped back. He ran his hand through his hair. 'Whoa there, I almost kissed him,' he thought as he looked at Siri out of the corner of his eye.

Taking a deep breath he asked again "Why? Why did you do it Black? Why did you have sex with James and then act like nothing happened? Why did you hurt him like that? All you had to do was tell him that is very sweet of him and that you love him as a friend, a brother and nothing more he would of understood."

He stood there looking at him with those unnerving eyes of his. Siri couldn't come up with a good enough answer about why? 'Why had I hurt my best friend, making him think that something would come out of it. I'm such and idiot' Sirius contemplated. When he didn't answer him, Remus sighed. He turned to go, whispering under his breath "Would you do that to me? If I confessed to you that I'm in love with you, and have been since third year."

Sirius blinked at him and said "What?"

"Nothing," Remus left him standing there befuddle. Sirius watched him go, wondering if James would ever forgive him.

(~*~*~)

The rest of the school year went by painfully for him, as he watched James go through the days with a smile on his face. One that didn't quite reach his eyes. How he wished that he could be by his side, making him laugh. Oh how he miss his laugh. "Oh my Jamie I am so sorry, I wished things could be different," he whispered quietly to himself (cause no one else was listening or ever near him).

Remus still talks to him, but he could tell he's still mad, but at least he still has a friend through this hell he put his self in. Peter would be here too, but he is to busy with his girlfriend to notice much of what is going on.

(~*~*~)

The summer was much the same as the last term of school, which had been pure torture. Untill near the end of the year. It brought hope to Sirius' pathetic existence. He received a letter from "dost his eyes deceive him, James," his heart soared with joy, as he took the letter from James' dads owl, (Peaches, what don't laugh at the name *frowney face* James named her when he was just 3 yrs old) gave her an owl treat. Then watched as she flew out the window, after getting a drink of water (James must have borrowed her from his dad, and his dad must need her for something, otherwise she would have stayed). Sirius opened the letter (he's so excited to read it, that he almost ripped it in his haste to open it). He never thought he would ever hear from the one person he thought would ever speak to him again. He then read the beautiful written letter. James always had beautiful loopy writing, his on the other hand is, well lets just say it is hard to read and leave it at that.

(~*~*~)

_**Dear Mr Sirius Orion Black;**_

_**My dear Padfoot it has been a long time since we last spoke, half way through our 7th year it was and now it has been a year and some since then. I hope you are doing well. I just wanted you to know that I forgive you for what you did, although Lily and Severus don't think I should. But she doesn't understand that i can't stay upset at you forever, and well you know Severus. This year and some apart from you have been torture on me and I know it has been on you too. (Remus keeps me informed of your state *wink*). So to get to the point I was wondering if you would mind if I came over to spend some time with my Padsie, my other half. There is something important that I want to tell you but I don't want to do it in a letter. That would seem so oh whats the word...oh yes insensitive of me and I'm not like that. **_

_**Please let me know your decision by tomorrow afternoon.**_

_**Yours always James Charlus Potter (Prongs).**_

Sirius read and reread the letter 5 times before he jumped up and ran to get some parchment and ink. Sitting down at his desk he hastily wrote an answer. He was quite surprise if anyone could read this, but then again James has always been able to read his writing.

_**Dear Jamie;**_

_**I could not believe my eyes when I saw who the letter was from, I almost fell off the chair. I'm so glad you have forgiven me, but Prongs I don't deserve it. I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I wish it could be different but it's not and I'm sorry for that. But we'll talk more when you come, it will be so nice to see you again, man do I miss you...my Prongsie. I'll be waiting for your arrival tomorrow. Although I wish it was today, but I understand.**_

_**See you at 1pm**_

_**Yours forever Sirius Orion Black (Padfoot)**_

_**P.S please hurry *puppy dog eyes***_

_**P.S.S I miss your hugs**_

Getting up Sirius called his owl over, he attached the letter to his leg. Then he walked over to the window, and told Reg where to go (my little brother named him) and watch as he flew out of sight. Now all he could do was wait, but waiting isn't one of his strong points, so he did more pacing than waiting and he didn't sleep well that night.

(~*~*~)

The next day was going by to slow for his taste. Sirius wanted James here now, but the more he grumbled, the slower time seemed to go. Moony came over to see how he's doing and he told him "I hate waiting," all he did was smile and pat my shoulder.

Saying, as he went and sat down on the couch "He'll be here soon Pads, just be patient."

'Yeah easy for him to say, as he is as patient as a rock, while my patience is...well lacking.' Soon the bloody clock that my little brother insisted on having, chimed 1:00 announcing James' arrival.

When James stepped through the fire-place, he then walked into the livingroom, where Sirius and Remus are waiting (the floo fireplace is in a separate room). They stared at each other for a long time, not quite believing that they were seeing each other after so long.

Silence enveloped the room as the two friends stood there, just out of reach of each other. Before flying into each others arms crying.

James saying all is forgiven and Sirius saying that he is sorry. While Remus sits on the couch with a small smile on his face. All was well in the Marauders lives again, that is if Siri takes James' news well. A near 30 minutes had passed since James came. Yet the two crying friends haven't let go of one another. Remus leans over and picks up the book he's been reading, flipping to the page he was last on he starts to read.

(~*~*~)

The silence was soon broken by James saying "Umm Siri?"

"Hmm," came the muffled reply as Sirius' face is buried in James' neck.

"I need to tell you something," James said rubbing the man he loves back. "I need your full attention for it. So I need you to look at me, while I am telling you ok."

"All right," Siri mumbled as he reluctantly pushed himself up so he is looking at James.

Chuckling James said "Sorry Pads didn't catch that," more chuckling.

Pulling a face Siri replies "I said all right whats up?"

James' laughter died down as he looked into those eyes that remind him so much of molten silver and storm clouds. Taking a deep breath Prongs opens his mouth to tell the love of his life that he is marrying another.

(~*~*~)

"Padsie I'm getting married," Silence followed that announcement "to Lily." Looking down at his hands, James waited for Sirius' answer, silence. With the silence ringing in his ears, James peeked over at his best friend and decided to say the rest of what he came to say.

"Pads I want you to be there, to be my best man and the Godfather to any children we may have," taking a deep breath, James look straight into Siri's eyes and said "I still love you, but I understand now that I could never have you, for your heart lies with another." A choked cough came from the chair where Remus was sitting (he had moved there, when he had to scramble out-of-the-way when James and I flopped on the couch). Shooting Moony a look, James looked back at Sirius to see his reaction.

More silence, as Siri processed what he just heard. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that this is for the best. James is right, his heart does lie elsewhere. It has always belonged to the sandy hair man, who at this very moment has his nose buried in a book. That Siri just noticed the picture on the front. Which is: two men entwined around each other, sharing a very passionate kiss, and from what he could see, they were both naked. Grinning he turned his attention back to his Prongsie, who had sat there this whole time, with a worried expression on his smexy face.

It was in that moment of looking from Moony to Prongs that Sirius realised that he's gay. 'I'm such an idiot,' he thought, as he grabbed a pillow. Siri wacked himself with it. Both of his friends looked at each other in alarm, jumping up, they wrestled the pillow away from him.

"Padfoot, what the hell?" They both said.

Siri just smiled sheepishly at them.

(~*~*~)

When they had both sat back down (Remus holding the pillow). Padfoot turned his attention back to James and grin at him. He looked at me with a tentative smile curling his mouth.

Pads' grin turns into a full-blown smile as he launches himself at James exclaiming "I would be honored to be both."

Soon we are both laughing.

Sirius then whispers "I love you too my Prongs. But you are right my heart does belong else where. He stole it and wont give it back."

Pulling away he smiles at me, squeezing my shoulder. Smiling back, relief washing through him. We turn towards the unspecting wolf. Everything was right in our world again. The Marauders are back, look out world *grins evilly*.

(~*~*~)

**Sirius' POV...**

4 months later James and Lily got married.

Remus and I are slowly getting past the friendship stage. That is hard in itself, considering how long we have been friends. Plus one of us thought they were straight for the longest time (me haha).

I have apologised to both Lily and Severus. Although I don't think Lily has really forgiven me, but at least she is being friendly to me, for James' sake. As for Severus. Well we tolerate each other as best we can. I know he glares at me a lot, for I'm with Remus and is he not anymore.

It has been a tough time for all of us but we survived, because we are the Marauder's, plus two *grin*.


	2. Chapter 2

SB/RL

_**A/N: **__I apologise for any mistakes, spelling or grammar. Second part to __**The** **Reason.**_

_Best friend is my beta._

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Harry Potter, would be nice, but as I am not JK Rowling._

_**Sum: **__Remus and Sirius' relationship blossoms and Severus thinks of his first boyfriend Lucius Malfoy. James and Lily go on their honeymoon._

**_Rated: _**_M _

**Golden Eyes**

_**After the Wedding...**_

James and Lily have been on their honeymoon for about a week now; they left the Thursday after their wedding. They got married on Saturday, a beautiful spring day. Five days later they went to Romania, although they almost missed their portkey. Which Sirius found very funny. They both glared at him. Lily chased Siri around, with her book. She actually caught up with him and hit him three times, which hurt. Severus of course found that funny. He likes it when Sirius is in pain, (heartless bastard).

That man is soooo strange. Siri hit him, upside the head, he glared. So Sirius did the only thing he knew would cheer most people up. He kissed him very quick like. He blinked, then a slow smile appeared, then it was gone. He was scowling once more. Siri grin over at Moony, who shook his head at him, hiding the smile on his face.

"You big tease, Padfoot," he said chuckling. His grin widens as Siri grabbed him around the waist, pulling him close.

"You know me," Padfoot said, while nuzzling into his neck. He let out a soft growling purr.

And so that is how they sent their friends off on their honeymoon.

(~***~)

_Outside Moony's Flat..._

Sirius has stood there for the past hour and a half. Wondering if he should go in or not. Lately their relationship has been a bit strained, what with his ex Severus around. Yup that's right Remus dated Snape for a while, trying to get over Sirius. Because like James, he also thought Siri was straight (well for the most part Sirius is. Guess you could say that he's somewhat bisexual).

Padfoot just found out that they had dated in school, and that Remmy was and still is, in love with him (Sirius). So here he is standing outside of Remus' flat, wondering what he should do. When the door opened and none other than Snape walked out. They stared at each other for some time, before he sneered "Black."

"Snape," Sirius said with equal loathing. They still don't really like each other.

He turned and called to Remus, "your boyfriend is here." Then he brushed by Black, turning at the bottom of the stairs to say venomously "don't you hurt him Black, I will kill you if you do," then he was gone. Leaving Sirius standing there with a confused look on his face. That is how Remmy found him, when he came to the door.

"Hey there lover," he said seductively.

*Blink* Siri's eyes widen as he took in his appearance. Black leather pants, an open tee-shirt that showed his rippling muscles. Sirius has never seen Remus wear anything sooo *leave nothing to be desire* before. He smirks and pulls Siri into his flat, closing the door. Sirius found himself being pressed into it, the door handle jabbing into his back. As Moony crashed his lips against Padfoot's.

As they kissed Sirius tried to take control, but Remus wasn't letting him. Growling he bit down on Siri's bottom lip, which caused him to whimper. He's soon leaving a trail of wet hot kisses from Sirius' jaw line to his neck. Nibbling at just the right spot, one that is soooo sensitive that makes Padfoot go weak in the knees. If he wasn't pressed in between Remmy and the door, Siri would have surely fallen and became a puddle of withering goo. It's that tongue of his, that wicked, wicked tongue.

Clinging to him, Siri whimpered "Moony, please." Sirius Black is reduced to begging, but Remus will do that to him. He is a Lady's Man no more...nope Siri is only one Man's Man now (*grins goofily*).

That is all the encouragement he needs as Moony pulled Padfoot away from the door and down the hall to his room. Where they don't come out till later. Much, much later *wink* *wink*

(~***~)

As Severus left Remus' flat, all though it was very hard to leave, it is always hard for him to leave. Sev tried to figure out why Black is in there being seduced and not him. It should be him, growling Severus kicked at something, wished he hadn't and apparate to his empty lonely flat.

Falling into his chair by the fire, (his only piece of furniture in the living room), staring into the flames Severus thought about things. He thought about how he can't seem to hold on to boyfriends for more than a few months or a year. About how when he's with them he falls hard for them even though he knew he shouldn't.

Remus wasn't his first, nope that was Lucius Malfoy, the aristocratic blonde that usually doesn't give you the time of day unless he deems you worthy. Yup he fell for him the hardest, he tried not to but he knew it was a lost cause the moment those silver eyes looked deep into his. He was a goner as soon as his lips pressed against his, when those hands….

An anguished cry was ripped from him as collapsed father into the chair, trying to hide from the memories. Severus wished they would stop haunting him; they had when he was with Remus but then he never really had the golden eyed beauty. Nope that privilege belonged to one 'Sirius Black.

Growling he threw himself out of the chair and his depressing thoughts and ran down the hall to his room, he refused to cry. Though the tears had their own agenda and slid down his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to keep them back.

(~***~)

The two friends lay in each other's arms basking in the after glow of their love-making. Both content to remain silent, as they didn't have to say anything to know what the other thought. They're both equal in this relationship because they're both dominate, they also respect each other.

Remus' hand was slowly stroking up and down Siri's side, while the dog animagi was staring off into space as his hand splayed out on Remmy's chest. The sun had set long ago but the two lovers' couldn't sleep, they're worried about their friends across the way in Romania. Wondering how they were doing, when an owl flew through the window and clipped them both in the head with his wings as he flew around the room for a bit before landing on the foot board.

He looked at the two men with luminous eyes then held out his leg where a letter was attached. Rubbing their heads Remus and Sirius both glared at the owl before the wolf animagi untied the letter.

"Give him an owl treat there hun," Remus said as he opened the letter.

"Huh?" Siri looked at him bleary eyed his mouth hanging open.

"Elegant there Pads." Rem smirked at him "now give him a treat you goon." bopping him on the head as he turned his eyes back to the letter. It was from James and Lily.

_**Remus and Sirius;**_

_**Hope all is well. We've had a blast here, Romania is great. The scenery is just breath-taking. We'll send pictures soon. So how are things? Are you guys shagging yet? *sly grin* Miss you guys.**_

They both blushed beat red and growled "James."

_**Anyways Lily says hi and is wondering how Severus is doing. She's worried about him. Well I'll let you get back to snogging and what not *grin. **_

_**Love James and Lily Potter.**_

_**P.S. love you both very much and take care of each other. Marauders forever.**_

Sirius looked at his boy friend and chuckled "Typical Jamie." Nodding his head in agreement Remus reached over to his bed side table and pulled opened the drawer. Pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill with ink bottle, and something hard to write on he composed a reply.

_**James and Lily;**_

_**Hey! All is well here. How about with you? Glad you're having a blast, glad we picked Romania instead of Bulgaria where it's cold a lot. Miss you guys too. Can hardly wait to see the pictures. Severus was doing alright when I saw him last which was earlier today Saturday 4**__**th**__**. Yes if you must know Sirius and I have shagged….**_

Looking side ways at said dog animagus, he noticed the blush that was flaring up his neck and on to his cheeks. He mumbled "Moony." well more liked whined. A low growl from the wolf, Remus' eyes dilated a little, shinning a brighter gold.

Shaking his head after staring at his lover for a few minutes Remus went back to writing the letter.

_**twice. **_

Grinning at his boyfriend Remmy continued writing even when Sirius tried to pull the quill out of his hand. He snapped his teeth on his soft cheek and growled; of course Padfoot answered with his own growl and tried even harder to get the quill.

_**Well I better wrap this up; tell Lily I'll check on Severus in the morning to see how he is. See you when you get back, have fun. **_*smirking* _**don't do anything we wouldn't do. **_That got Siri to stop and grin. _**Love you both very much, Marauders forever, plus two.**_

Putting the quill down he rolled up the letter and sealed it, then got out of bed and tied the letter to the owl's leg. The brown owl had just finished the owl treat that Siri had given him and ruffling his feathers he turned and flew out the window.

Remus didn't wait for the owl to fly out of sight before he turned back to his love and pounced on him.

"How about another round hmm?" he growled as he looked down at his mate with a predatory look in his eyes. Sirius grinned wickedly up at him and replied "lets."

(~***~)

The moon shone down on the two bodies entwined as one, the sweat glistened off their golden hued skin. Sharing the ancient dance of love-making, as they moved slowly together, their moans and mewls mingling.

The stars twinkled high above in the sky as some where in the distance a lone wolf howled, its golden eyes little pin pricks of light in the darkness.


End file.
